No way, it can't be

No, it can't be another year already.  I am in denial that my little baby boy is turning 4.  How is it possible? Where in the world has the time gone?  It feels like just yesterday I was bursting at the seams, literally, I think, and ready to give birth. Memories flood through me when I sit and think about him and how much he has grown in the fast four years.  I don't really see the resemblance in his baby pictures to what he looks like now, like I do with his brothers baby photos.

day 2

year 1

year 2 and a brother!

year 3

a few days shy of 4

Caden still loves his stuffed animals and baby quilt. He drags 'big monkey' around most the time and it helps him feel calm.  He loves all toys, no joke. If asked who his friends are will name one or two boys but a list of girls.  He loves and needs his snuggles from mommy and daddy alike. He loves to learn and play in the dirt. He is not into rough housing like other boys (phew!), which may explain the list of girl friends.

There are days that he drives me to the brink... but he can wash away the entire, grumpy feeling day with one little whisper, as he is trying to fall asleep. "Mom, thanks for being my friend today. I love you."

My first born,
You will always be my baby.  I know you don't understand that now and hate when I call you that, but it is true.  No matter how many babies I have, you will always be the first and that holds a very special place in my heart.

You will always be the oldest, and have your younger brother chasing you and looking up to you. I know he is a pest to you now (and maybe he will be a pest forever) but he adores you, but who doesn't?

You have already acquired so many amazing attributes in your 4 short years on this planet.  You are sweet, especially when we least expect it. You are caring. You are smart. You are ADORABLE. You are funny. You know what you like (and while that particular one drives me BANANAS now, it will hopefully be a driving force as you get older.)  You are polite, most of the time.

I need to remind myself that you are just now turning 4 and not to rush you into growing up too much or too fast. I need to not put unrealistic expectations on you and talk to you like you are 4, not 14, although some days I'm not sure sure you aren't 14. 
Love you with all my heart my dear, crazy little boy.