what's in your nose?

perfect picture to go with this memory

Caden seems to create a lot of valuable memories recently,  good, bad and hilarious.  Tonight's could have been a lot funnier than it was....if he hadn't thrown a fit in the beginning, middle and end.

Sitting at dinner, I happen to notice him shove a green bean in his nose.  It was out of genuine curiosity from what I could tell. The look on his face was priceless. Then he caught my eye, and tried to pick it out....which of course shoved it further up his nose.  I think I probably would have been laughing had he not just caused a scene about....carrying his plate, which utensil to use, what color his cup was, what vegetable HE got to choose (it was 'one of those days' today).

I promptly told him he should never put anything up his nose unless its saline spray for his nose (fast forward many years and that rule should be helpful in deciding whether or not to put anything in his nose, right?).
He immediately responded with "That's not fair."

Huh? What isn't fair? That I don't want you to put food/anything up your nose? It was a trap and I wasn't going to go down that road with him

He finally got out the bits of green bean after blowing his nose. (which due to the kind of mood he was in, of course, was not a simple task)

I said, "Sorry, I'm not being mean, I'm trying to keep you healthy."

and he responded with "yes, you are being mean!"

and like any other good parent (which I'm finding out lately, seem to be in short supply) I told him....
"Okay, you are right. I am being mean, but sometimes I am going to do things or say things that seem mean to you....but its because I am taking care of you."

Granted he is four and that lesson is a hard one learned. It took me til I was grown and teaching to realize what a great job my mom did in not giving me everything I wanted, and learning lessons that hard way...or apparently, the mean way.

I love you my sweet, sweet boy. you challenge me in ways I am not prepared for, but I love you just the same.

future of legos

I love the way Caden thinks...well most the time.  Sometimes I despise it (like when he is freaking out over his granola bar wrapper ripping 'the wrong way.') but mostly he amazes me at how thoughtful he is about his life and all that it has to offer.  David and I often find ourselves sharing conversations we had with Caden in which he amazed us at how he seeks out information.  questions we have heard in the last week: Where does the word hug come from?  Why do we call our lips touching a kiss?  How do you make whip cream?

Today at dinner Caden abruptly announced he was going to work at the 'Lego place.' (LegoLand).  He described what he would do on his job....help people build cars to drive on the ramps, give people bracelets to wear.  He even said he would charge people money to get in.  When asked how much he would ask people to pay, he gave it some thought and stated $3.

He then told us that he would have to drive home a long way from his job.  I told him that maybe someday he could move to live by his new job.  So I asked, who would you live with?  Again, he gave it some serious thought.  I watched him closely and his eyes flicked between Coleman, his dad, and me.  He smiled briefly as his eyes landed on each of us and he said he would live with Coleman.  I asked if anyone else would live with him and then he smiled and said yes, you and dad.  "we will move to a new house and someone else can move to our house."

The big question I asked....How old will you be when you get this job? (I was curious if he had any inkling of a guess.) serious thoughts and then excitedly he stated, 45!  I love it.  He will be 45 living with us in a new house and working at Lego Land.  He has it all planned out. =)

It was such a cute conversation that It was one of those moments I wish I had it on video but getting the camera out would have ruined it.  So instead of relying on my horrible memory, here I am to document.

A bittersweet ending

This week has marked our final days of a 27 month relationship.  Coleman is no longer nursing...at all.  I have been going back and forth with 'cutting him off' but also didn't see a huge reason to until he was ready. To be honest, I was hoping he would self wean and just stop asking one day.  It didn't happen quite like that but it wasn't a struggle either because I didn't force it on my time frame.

He has been less and less demanding about it in the last few weeks. Only nursed for a short time before being more interested in the bedtime story.

This week he had a cold that caused him to be so congested he couldn't nurse because he couldn't breathe through his nose. He gave up (and I didn't stop him)  the next night he didn't even ask, then the third and fourth nights he asked and tried but immediately said 'all gone?"  I just said, "yep, milk is all gone now."  I let him try...i figure he would give it up when he didn't get it. and he did. He happily turned back to the book and forgot all about it.

I am sad we are done. I never thought it would last as long as we did. Caden only nursed for 10.5 months when I stopped producing enough milk.  Coleman had always been a better nursling than his brother.  I made it to 1 year and thought..lets shoot for 1.5...we made it there and I thought lets shoot for 2. Believe me there were times i was "this close" to cutting him off but we made it past that hump (mostly his behavior surrounding it)  During his little health scare back in February (yet, another post I haven't written) I wanted to let him have it as long as he needed it.

thanks for the privacy Froggy

look at all the nurishment....chunk! (3 months)

I don't know if there is a third baby in our future or not but if there is I hope that  can have the same bond with that baby.  I know I gave him everything he needs in so many ways by allowing him to decide when to stop nursing.  He still craves to be on my skin and will lay his head on my chest or put his hands under my shirt on my back or tummy when he is really sad or tired.  Someday, that too, will be something he grows out of and I will miss it.

Growing up too fast!!!

all grown up.....looking

So I am coming to the realization that I am HORRIBLE at this whole blogging thing.  I take forever to sit down and write and then when I do....I'm not that great of a writer. Oh well. I do it more as a way for me to store some memories and milestones of our family.

We recently had a big moment (actually there have been a couple but this is the first).  Caden has been asking to have his hair cut for over a year. Last  year I cut off about 3 inches more because he needed it then because I wanted to.  He wasn't happy and wanted it 'tiny like daddy's.'  He has never been very adamant about it but has continued to ask randomly over the past years.  I always said that when he asked to cut it I would.....i lied. I wasn't ready, but I also knew he wasn't ready to understand that once it was cut, we couldn't put it back. it would take time to grow.

This spring I was beginning to give in....lets be honest, long hair is a chore and he is not capable of taking care of it on his own.  It was constantly sticky, tangled and in his face.  But at the same time....it was so cute and he has awesome hair.

Well he asked again and so I did what any resourceful person would do. I turned to Pinterest for boy hair cuts that were still cute with a long hair look....just not soo long. At this point, the long hair is part of what makes him who he is. Someday he can change that but for now, we still have some control. =)  Here is what I found (pictures at bottom). Surprisingly David and Caden both thought it was cool.  It took me a few weeks to make the appt because let me be honest. I was ready but sad to get it cut. I was also a little worried about how Caden would handle it.  He tends to have difficulties with decisions and trying to change them the moment you can't.

The big day came and I was actually nervous! I was worried the whole time it wouldn't look good.  He looked like he aged in a matter of moments.

the sad part of the story was at bed time.  he was brushing his teeth and came into my room with a trembling lip and said, "I was just being silly when I said I wanted my hair cut. I want my old hair back."  We talked about how hair grows all the time...it was growing as we spoke. I even pulled out pictures of when I cut my hair so he could see that it will grow back.  The next night it started again, but this time he was sad because all the 'yellow was gone.'  true, all the sun bleached blond was gone.  I told him all he needed to do to fix that was play outside every day all summer...he was thrilled with that idea.

Add caption

looks silly brushed out

        

Anyways we have adjusted and he still says on occasion he doesn't want to cut his hair again. We leave it at that. He isn't ready, and he doesn't need it cut yet. I will cross that bridge when I need to.

No way, it can't be

No, it can't be another year already.  I am in denial that my little baby boy is turning 4.  How is it possible? Where in the world has the time gone?  It feels like just yesterday I was bursting at the seams, literally, I think, and ready to give birth. Memories flood through me when I sit and think about him and how much he has grown in the fast four years.  I don't really see the resemblance in his baby pictures to what he looks like now, like I do with his brothers baby photos.

day 2

year 1

year 2 and a brother!

year 3

a few days shy of 4

Caden still loves his stuffed animals and baby quilt. He drags 'big monkey' around most the time and it helps him feel calm.  He loves all toys, no joke. If asked who his friends are will name one or two boys but a list of girls.  He loves and needs his snuggles from mommy and daddy alike. He loves to learn and play in the dirt. He is not into rough housing like other boys (phew!), which may explain the list of girl friends.

There are days that he drives me to the brink... but he can wash away the entire, grumpy feeling day with one little whisper, as he is trying to fall asleep. "Mom, thanks for being my friend today. I love you."

My first born,
You will always be my baby.  I know you don't understand that now and hate when I call you that, but it is true.  No matter how many babies I have, you will always be the first and that holds a very special place in my heart.

You will always be the oldest, and have your younger brother chasing you and looking up to you. I know he is a pest to you now (and maybe he will be a pest forever) but he adores you, but who doesn't?

You have already acquired so many amazing attributes in your 4 short years on this planet.  You are sweet, especially when we least expect it. You are caring. You are smart. You are ADORABLE. You are funny. You know what you like (and while that particular one drives me BANANAS now, it will hopefully be a driving force as you get older.)  You are polite, most of the time.

I need to remind myself that you are just now turning 4 and not to rush you into growing up too much or too fast. I need to not put unrealistic expectations on you and talk to you like you are 4, not 14, although some days I'm not sure sure you aren't 14. 
Love you with all my heart my dear, crazy little boy.

Enter: The Terrible Twos

We are just hours away from Coleman turning the official number 2, one hour and 43 minutes to be exact. This is supposedly one of the more dreaded years of toddler hood.  I don't know what the future holds for us. Caden was easy, ridiculously easy until about 3...then our world turned upside down and we are still waiting for it to right itself.

Coleman is such a different kid than Caden was. He is not easy going. He is WAY more verbal (he sings songs!) and active than Caden was at the same age. And coleman shows no sign of fear while Caden was timid and reserved in new situations.

In the last couple days we have seen a large shift in his personality. He gets angry, pouts, and tries to use emotions to get his way....and when that doesn't work he has resorted to hitting...and by hitting I mean flailing his arm at you.  Caden never hit and really still doesn't. (he has other ways to show his anger that equally frustrating).

I am sure it will be an interesting year ahead of us and I have a feeling we may see a glimpse of what other parents refer to as the terrible 2's.  please wish me luck !!!   I think the old saying will come in handy this year.                        Stay Calm and Carry On!

an older but good photo of Caden and Coleman

my sweet boy

Still loves to nurse and gets pretty angry when he doesn't get what he wants so we will see how much longer we go