A bittersweet ending

This week has marked our final days of a 27 month relationship.  Coleman is no longer nursing...at all.  I have been going back and forth with 'cutting him off' but also didn't see a huge reason to until he was ready. To be honest, I was hoping he would self wean and just stop asking one day.  It didn't happen quite like that but it wasn't a struggle either because I didn't force it on my time frame.

He has been less and less demanding about it in the last few weeks. Only nursed for a short time before being more interested in the bedtime story.

This week he had a cold that caused him to be so congested he couldn't nurse because he couldn't breathe through his nose. He gave up (and I didn't stop him)  the next night he didn't even ask, then the third and fourth nights he asked and tried but immediately said 'all gone?"  I just said, "yep, milk is all gone now."  I let him try...i figure he would give it up when he didn't get it. and he did. He happily turned back to the book and forgot all about it.

I am sad we are done. I never thought it would last as long as we did. Caden only nursed for 10.5 months when I stopped producing enough milk.  Coleman had always been a better nursling than his brother.  I made it to 1 year and thought..lets shoot for 1.5...we made it there and I thought lets shoot for 2. Believe me there were times i was "this close" to cutting him off but we made it past that hump (mostly his behavior surrounding it)  During his little health scare back in February (yet, another post I haven't written) I wanted to let him have it as long as he needed it.

thanks for the privacy Froggy

look at all the nurishment....chunk! (3 months)

I don't know if there is a third baby in our future or not but if there is I hope that  can have the same bond with that baby.  I know I gave him everything he needs in so many ways by allowing him to decide when to stop nursing.  He still craves to be on my skin and will lay his head on my chest or put his hands under my shirt on my back or tummy when he is really sad or tired.  Someday, that too, will be something he grows out of and I will miss it.

Growing up too fast!!!

all grown up.....looking

So I am coming to the realization that I am HORRIBLE at this whole blogging thing.  I take forever to sit down and write and then when I do....I'm not that great of a writer. Oh well. I do it more as a way for me to store some memories and milestones of our family.

We recently had a big moment (actually there have been a couple but this is the first).  Caden has been asking to have his hair cut for over a year. Last  year I cut off about 3 inches more because he needed it then because I wanted to.  He wasn't happy and wanted it 'tiny like daddy's.'  He has never been very adamant about it but has continued to ask randomly over the past years.  I always said that when he asked to cut it I would.....i lied. I wasn't ready, but I also knew he wasn't ready to understand that once it was cut, we couldn't put it back. it would take time to grow.

This spring I was beginning to give in....lets be honest, long hair is a chore and he is not capable of taking care of it on his own.  It was constantly sticky, tangled and in his face.  But at the same time....it was so cute and he has awesome hair.

Well he asked again and so I did what any resourceful person would do. I turned to Pinterest for boy hair cuts that were still cute with a long hair look....just not soo long. At this point, the long hair is part of what makes him who he is. Someday he can change that but for now, we still have some control. =)  Here is what I found (pictures at bottom). Surprisingly David and Caden both thought it was cool.  It took me a few weeks to make the appt because let me be honest. I was ready but sad to get it cut. I was also a little worried about how Caden would handle it.  He tends to have difficulties with decisions and trying to change them the moment you can't.

The big day came and I was actually nervous! I was worried the whole time it wouldn't look good.  He looked like he aged in a matter of moments.

the sad part of the story was at bed time.  he was brushing his teeth and came into my room with a trembling lip and said, "I was just being silly when I said I wanted my hair cut. I want my old hair back."  We talked about how hair grows all the time...it was growing as we spoke. I even pulled out pictures of when I cut my hair so he could see that it will grow back.  The next night it started again, but this time he was sad because all the 'yellow was gone.'  true, all the sun bleached blond was gone.  I told him all he needed to do to fix that was play outside every day all summer...he was thrilled with that idea.

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looks silly brushed out

        

Anyways we have adjusted and he still says on occasion he doesn't want to cut his hair again. We leave it at that. He isn't ready, and he doesn't need it cut yet. I will cross that bridge when I need to.